Bottom of the Pile - September 17th, 2014
Last week's comics, because somehow being in school has made me more timely.
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Okay, I can buy magnetism. I can buy a woman with control over probability. I'll even buy a hyper-intelligent AI that wants to experience sex for the first time--though you're pushing it. But what I can't buy is this: no one has ever had this reaction to beer their first time drinking it.
Man, Miles has got to be the worst superhero at keeping his secret identity an actual "secret". Seriously, who doesn't know who he is now? His girlfriend, his best friend, everyone he works with, his dad...and now he can't even keep it a secret from random strangers.
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Time has run out. I'll be honest--I thought this would have far more of an ominous meaning than just "the Avengers hate Tony Stark" (again). I said over a year ago when this first started that basically this was a copy-paste of the Civil War storyline, but on a much larger scale for far bigger reasons motivating Cap and Tony. So at the heart of things I'm okay with this, but I can't help wondering exactly what the story is here.
Tony, and the rest of the Illuminati, already stopped their "let's blow up some Earths" plan. They couldn't go through with it, and quit eight months ago in story time. The only guy left doing that is Namor, and every indication from this first issue is that everyone's basically ignoring THAT guy, who's essentially a super-villain at this point. What's to be gained from this?
Sidenote: That's Tony Stark's "Superior Iron Man" costume, so continuity has well and truly gone fucked. I have to assume that at some point in Superior Iron Man there's going to be some sort of time skip to where he's basically hated by half of the superheroes in the MU (again). I don't know what to make of this just yet, but it's definitely entertaining.
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What I love about Avengers World is the sheer number of characters they've introduced in just 13 issues. Two brand-new superhero teams in such a short span of time, and near as I can tell they're doing everything they can not to make them some more fodder to "hold the line" until a hero that matters shows up.
I'm always a fan of this. At their core, superheroes are American creations, but that doesn't mean they should only exist in America inside the DCU or Marvel. Marvel's actually done a great job lately in setting up these various teams, and I'm hoping Avengers World can continue to utilize them and give a real feeling of globalization to the superhero world.
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Eeeeeeeeee!!!! Spoiler's back! This would be my favorite comic this week if not for stiff competition from Multiversity and More than Meets the Eye. I've been a Stephanie Brown fan since before that stupid "Gang War" story was even a thing. Yeah, she's not as good as the rest--but she makes up for it with ingenuity and just being plain likable, a trait many Bat-characters fail to have.
First off, how on Earth are you broke? Even if you assume a ton of jobs are illegal/useless, the remaining jobs Matt should get because he's Daredevil should be more than enough to keep them in the black.
Second off. How exactly do you feel colors? Like, Mark Waid's done an excellent job of finding numerous ways to show off DD's unique skillset, but I'm going to need someone to explain this one to me. Is it the pattern of each individual pen? Like, how is this possible?
Methinks Gwen might be more of a waltz girl. Or, given her love of rock music, possibly slam dance.
That said, wow I loved this book. Gwen Stacy's pretty lovable as Spider-Woman, though I'm pretty bummed about what happened to Peter, I love a lot of the ideas they went with for this issue. The "Mary Janes" as a concept is neat, playing off some of MJ's wilder elements to give Gwen Stacy that last little character trait she needs to differentiate her from Spider-Man. I definitely want to see more of her before this Spider-Verse story is all done, and hopefully more after it's all over.
And so, Angela's induction into the Marvel Universe is complete. She even gets a new name!
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I think Doc Fate's magic trick works better than Felix's, but that's just me.
See, it's things like this panel that make me know the whole Futures End spiel about "our characters might be here five years from now" is a load of garbage. For one thing, they're never going to admit that anything happened "five years ago" unless it's an origin story. But for another, they've just gone too ridiculous with the changes. Tim Drake's not going to quit, and Wonder Girl's brains aren't going to be splattered all over anyone.
They went for shock value, instead of going for changes that might actually be believable. THAT would have left readers wondering which ones could actually happen.
Schrodinger's Cybertronian. Seriously, all BS aside a Transformers comic book would've been the last place I expected to get a quantum physics lesson...and yet, here we are. I'm impressed.
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.....Ugh. Panels like this give the continuity geek in me the largest of headaches. That's not just a random reference for Maria Hill. "The Five Nightmares" was the very first story of Invincible Iron Man, or Iron Man volume five. It was the start of Matt Fraction's superb run writing the character, where he transformed Iron Man from unlikable jerk into relatable jerk. The story happened back in 2008, just before the launch of the very first Iron Man film.
So what a that panel is saying is that all of the stories Marvel has told from 2008 to 2014...occurred in the span of a year. That means "Secret Invasion", "Heroic Age", "Avengers versus X-Men", "Infinity", and all the events which happened in between these things...happened in the span of a year. Like...what? I mean...what?! I'm going to say that most likely Brian Bendis just kinda threw "a year" out there, because something like this cheapens quite a few stories actually--I mean hell, this basically means Norman Osborn was in charge of SHIELD for like two weeks.
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Without a doubt, Quentin Quire is one of the most insufferable characters in the X-Men. Ridiculously arrogant, and they just keep giving him power-ups and attempting to make him important for some reason that's beyond me. The one thing I can rest easy in is that one day the people so enamored with him will no longer write any X-books, and he'll be killed off in some non-descript event that most people won't even remember two years after it happens.
Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last". Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.
All-New X-Factor
Okay, I can buy magnetism. I can buy a woman with control over probability. I'll even buy a hyper-intelligent AI that wants to experience sex for the first time--though you're pushing it. But what I can't buy is this: no one has ever had this reaction to beer their first time drinking it.
All-New X-Men
Man, Miles has got to be the worst superhero at keeping his secret identity an actual "secret". Seriously, who doesn't know who he is now? His girlfriend, his best friend, everyone he works with, his dad...and now he can't even keep it a secret from random strangers.
Avengers
Tony, and the rest of the Illuminati, already stopped their "let's blow up some Earths" plan. They couldn't go through with it, and quit eight months ago in story time. The only guy left doing that is Namor, and every indication from this first issue is that everyone's basically ignoring THAT guy, who's essentially a super-villain at this point. What's to be gained from this?
Sidenote: That's Tony Stark's "Superior Iron Man" costume, so continuity has well and truly gone fucked. I have to assume that at some point in Superior Iron Man there's going to be some sort of time skip to where he's basically hated by half of the superheroes in the MU (again). I don't know what to make of this just yet, but it's definitely entertaining.
Avengers World
I'm always a fan of this. At their core, superheroes are American creations, but that doesn't mean they should only exist in America inside the DCU or Marvel. Marvel's actually done a great job lately in setting up these various teams, and I'm hoping Avengers World can continue to utilize them and give a real feeling of globalization to the superhero world.
Batman Eternal
Daredevil
Second off. How exactly do you feel colors? Like, Mark Waid's done an excellent job of finding numerous ways to show off DD's unique skillset, but I'm going to need someone to explain this one to me. Is it the pattern of each individual pen? Like, how is this possible?
Edge of Spider-Verse
That said, wow I loved this book. Gwen Stacy's pretty lovable as Spider-Woman, though I'm pretty bummed about what happened to Peter, I love a lot of the ideas they went with for this issue. The "Mary Janes" as a concept is neat, playing off some of MJ's wilder elements to give Gwen Stacy that last little character trait she needs to differentiate her from Spider-Man. I definitely want to see more of her before this Spider-Verse story is all done, and hopefully more after it's all over.
Original Sin: Thor and Loki
Multiversity - Society of Super-Heroes
New 52 - Futures End
They went for shock value, instead of going for changes that might actually be believable. THAT would have left readers wondering which ones could actually happen.
Transformers - More than Meets the Eye
Schrodinger's Cybertronian. Seriously, all BS aside a Transformers comic book would've been the last place I expected to get a quantum physics lesson...and yet, here we are. I'm impressed.
Uncanny X-Men
So what a that panel is saying is that all of the stories Marvel has told from 2008 to 2014...occurred in the span of a year. That means "Secret Invasion", "Heroic Age", "Avengers versus X-Men", "Infinity", and all the events which happened in between these things...happened in the span of a year. Like...what? I mean...what?! I'm going to say that most likely Brian Bendis just kinda threw "a year" out there, because something like this cheapens quite a few stories actually--I mean hell, this basically means Norman Osborn was in charge of SHIELD for like two weeks.
Wolverine and the X-Men
Without a doubt, Quentin Quire is one of the most insufferable characters in the X-Men. Ridiculously arrogant, and they just keep giving him power-ups and attempting to make him important for some reason that's beyond me. The one thing I can rest easy in is that one day the people so enamored with him will no longer write any X-books, and he'll be killed off in some non-descript event that most people won't even remember two years after it happens.
Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last". Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.
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