Bottom of the Pile - June 18th, 2014


.....Ultron.  Really.  Let me, go back a bit, just to get this straight.   The guy you idiots went back into the past to completely erase from the timestream, actually shattering time altogether in the process--the full repercussions of you still aren't even sure of yet....somehow still exists, and took over Earth 500 years into the future anyway. 

Y'know what?  Quit.  This is clearly not a winnable battle.  Either that, or Marvel could...oh, I don't know...stop spamming the same fucking villains so they don't seem like implacable singularity points who will exist regardless of what the heroes do to get rid of them. 

Avengers World

One, if I might ask: Who the fuck is Euroforce.   Two: No Swordswoman, they're not the Mighty Avengers.  That's the one with all the black people.  These are the...actually, I'm not sure what branch of Avengers these guys are.  I think they're the Coke Classic team.

Batman Eternal
Speaking of Red Hood things.  Last time I checked you wore a hard shell helmet as apart of your costume.  So are you smiling, exactly?

Matt Murdock under Mark Waid has been one of my favorite superheroes, and scenes like this are why.   Written by other writers in their respective runs, Matt can be kind of a jerk, but Waid has this habit of digging deep to find the admirable aspects of a character and bringing them to the fore, reminding us of why they started doing something as insane as putting on costumes and using their powers and abilities to fight crime.    Which is why a naive statement like "Because the Owl's a bad guy?" completely works. 

 Green Lantern: New Guardians
A fairly common Green Lantern trope for creating names for alien characters is to take a common English word and flip it backwards.   Knowing that, this scene becomes twice as funny.  

 Iron Man

Given the other Arno's rather duplicitous nature, I'm going to file this under "foreshadowing" and wait for Arno's existence to blow up in Tony's face.   That is, if they survive Original Sin.

Original Sin

Is the actual truthbomb in Original Sin that nobody likes Bucky?  Because "I never liked him [Bucky]" has become a running joke at this point.  When you find out he's not evil you're all gonna feel like real jerks.

Silver Surfer
This month's issue of Silver Surfer is actually full of hilarious moments like the above, all of them making innocent light at the Surfer's behavior and his powers.  And yes, Surfer's powers are actually incredibly convenient.  

 New 52: Futures End

If we're talking "dorks", between the two of you, only one has a ridiculous name.  And surprisingly, it's not the guy with the 1960's-era Marvel alliteration nom-de-plume (Cole Cash).  

Thor: God of Thunder

No wonder the military budget is so ridiculous.  While I'm at it, how do you work for SHIELD as an active officer and you've never taken a life?

Uncanny X-Men
A Walkman??   Dazzler: Forever a character caught in the 80's.  I bet when she got into specifics about music she asked for Phil Collins and Hall and Oates.

Wolverine and the X-Men
Scott, I've been on your side throughout this whole post-AvX thing, but when you do things like this it makes it difficult to convince other people you're still a hero.   I mean, even that grin. Somewhere the Joker's filing a copyright infringement suit. 

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.


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