Bottom of the Pile - August 20th, 2014

Let's see if I can actually get this week's up by Friday. 

All-New X-Factor

Because romance is everywhere in the X-Universe and kissing is contagious, it's caught on with the A.I.s, too.

Batman Eternal

....Of all the potential Batman villains we could've gotten, they gave black folks the dude who lives in the fucking sewers.   Dammit DC.  (I'm not "thinkpiece" mad, but this is still lame.)

 Daredevil

Mark Waid takes a completely different path on his most recent Daredevil story than we expected, and proves why he's currently one of the best superhero writers in comics.  Postpartum depression is a serious issue and Mark actually tackles it with a lot of class...while also telling a kick-ass story about how Matt outsmarts the new Black Panther. 

Green Lantern - New Guardians

I'm still annoyed by the idea of Carol being with Kyle, but if she's going to be inspired by the guy to start creating things like kaiju to attack their enemies, I'll be...well, still annoyed, but I'll like her more!

Magneto

Here's the thing--it's really hard to make Magneto's villain turn believable as long as he's basically only putting the comic book equivalent of racists and homophobes into the ground.  Even in this case, he's basically only attacking drug dealers.   He's the mutant equivalent of the Punisher right now.

 

Mighty Avengers

Fun fact: the human body has roughly eleven pints of blood in it.  Even if you presume Blade's special because he's "the daywalker", that sentence still sounds absolutely ridiculous.

 New 52 Futures End

Ahhh, really??  That's your villain?  Nevermind that he was the villain for the first half of Morrison's Action Comics that kick-started the New 52.   Nevermind that he's being featured prominently in Superman: Doomed that hasn't even ended or just ended.   How about the fact that Brother Eye is a COMPLETELY different villain, so why are they connected here?   This is why after a major use, each villain should have to be retired for 12-18 months.   Cut down on the spam, and it makes the heroes look less incompetent.   I honestly can't trust a dude who can't keep a villain down for a full football season. 

New Avengers

"Here in Latveria, Doom demands that children always get a good night's sleep."   Is THIS what we've come to for Doom?   The dude used to be the single most dangerous villain in the Fantastic Four rogues gallery.   A rogues gallery which included dudes like Galactus and that Ronan guy people have been watching in theatres for the last month.   NOW he's a fucking babysitter for the team?

Don't get me wrong, it's a funny quote--but how much further are we going to push this?  How long before Doom's basically a next-door neighbor who hates Reed because he's always got some wacky experiment going?   "Richards!   What is the meaning of this?! You have interrupted Doom while he was watching Game of Thrones.   This was the episode where Winter finally came!"

C'mon Marvel--I know your recent need to make everything Tumblr approved is slowly turning a lot of villains into...significantly less than villains but...turn up.

Teen Titans

.....Alright.   Which of you is the Brony, huh?  Which one of ya?!  I bet it's Beast Boy.  Miguel seems too cool for that.

The Multiversity

While the idea of Zatanna having a 'fro is hilariously awesome to me, I really wish this weren't "the Earth where everyone was black" and was instead "the world where not every hero turned out white".  Make the Flash asian, leave Batman white, maybe make Vixen originate from the U.S. and she could be Native American...    While I love Calvin Ellis and Nubia (Wonder Woman), doing it this way just makes everything feel more...gimmicky?

 Transformers - Robots in Disguise

Speaking of villains that are growing on people...y'know, I don't even think of Thundercracker as a villain anymore?  Just a crappy writer with a sweet puppy who wants to be left alone.    ...Who can also transform into a jet. 


Last week's comics up tomorrow. 

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.