Bottom of the Pile - July 23rd, 2014

All-New Ultimates

Y'know, at the "ripe old age" of...16 or 17, you shouldn't be having back problems yet.  I can't imagine what life's going to be like in your 30's.

Amazing Spider-Man

This is a great way to cliffhanger an issue.  Now let's see if these two can make it past Amazing #5, and beyond that---Spider-Verse itself.

 Batman Eternal

Me, a couple weeks ago (mere days before this issue came out): "The "Grifter" rip-off mask is pretty strange, though I guess Cash isn't using his right now.  Now logically, going in without any real training will result in Harper being seriously injured in some way, shape or form that will clear up the Mary Sue-ness of her character and help her realize if she's going to do this she'll need serious training.

Bah, who am I kidding?  She'll save Red Robin's ass and prove "that he really does need her", because we're not done pulling from the book of cliches yet."

I hate being right.  

 Daredevil

Why do they do this?   At what point do villains not get that telling a hero "there's nothing you can do" is like giving spinach to fucking Popeye?   "You challenged my ability to accomplish a given task!  Now I shall accomplish said task no matter the odds or cost to my own personal being!" <-- because="" br="" can="" do="" re="" resist="" simply="" something.="" superheroes="" t="" they="" told="" when="">

 Original Sin: Thor and Loki

First, I'd like to say that making the stupid point-numbering system more important than the subtitle of each Original Sin spin-off is completely idiotic.  Diamond Comics listed this as Original Sin #5.2.  I'm lucky I knew WTF they meant.

Second, Loki makes a good point, Thor.  Just because they're pretty doesn't mean they're harmless....though I suppose you found that out in this same issue.

 Secret Origin

If I'm not mistaken, in the original universe Harley Quinn simply wore make-up, as she often dressed completely normal from time to time.  So, here you go with another retcon from Secret Origins.  Anyone keeping a running tally?

Superman

Uhhh, no Clark.  Ulysses has a point.  Why do things like this keep happening on Earth?  The meta-fictional reason is that we wouldn't want to read comics if things like this weren't constantly happening, but might there be an in-universe reason as well...?

 Flash

If you'd told me five years ago that Wally West would be black, I wouldn't have bought it.  If you'd told me Wally West would be black and somehow accumulate two strikes before he ever put on a costume...unfortunately, that I would believe.  

The New 52: Futures End

"And, when she passes each one she passes goes..."  Well, Voodoo's right.  It is a good song.  And at least she was polite enough to play music for Voodoo while she waited.

Transformers: Windblade

 

It's nice to know that no matter what the current state of affairs we're dealing with in Transformers, Starscream is willing to remind everyone that he's still the same jerk he always was.

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.