Battle Rap Wednesdays: Jaz da Rapper vs. 40 B.A.R.R.S.

What's the definition of a body?  Allow me to show you...




Outside of that crazy-ass scheme by Hitman Holla, this is what a fucking body is.  Not Lux vs. Cal.  Not Lux vs. Mook.  Hell, not even Hollow vs. Joe Budden.  A body is when your opponent barely even bothers to show up, and you still beat go full one hundred percent and bar their life away, just because.   This battle is 38 minutes long--the first three minutes is intro BS, and the remaining 35 minutes is Jaz going in almost flawlessly, with her only stops being because of overwhelming crowd reaction.   Meanwhile 40 stumbles and chokes her way through short-ass rounds that in total add up to right around ten minutes, filled with tons of over the head bars and ones that belong in Charlie Clips' Reach Files Vol. 2.

I think Jaz stays a virgin as part of a pact with Earl to make every chick she battles choke, lol.  And that power is clearly getting stronger because at first it was just one round, now it's two.  If it gets to three I wouldn't be mad if other women refused to battle her just to save their names. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Read A Ton Of Superman Comics And Wound Up Angry At Man of Steel

Image
  (Reposted with minor alterations from my Resetera post .) I've always had the opinion that Man of Steel is a fine movie.  Occasionally my stance is it's a great Dragon Ball Z film, and a mediocre at best Superman film.  It never really made me angry, because there ARE some good parts to it. But last night I read Superman: Birthright and Superman: Secret Origin, and the more I read of each one, the more I realize that I only think Man of Steel is "fine" when viewed in a vacuum.  When specifically compared to Mark Waid (or even Geoff Johns') comics, Man of Steel goes from "yeah, whatever" to embarrassing.  How could anyone have looked at that film and thought it could be a decent representation of Superman?    The best parts of it are the beginning where they show Kryptonian society, and the fight scenes (like I said, DBZ).   It's boring-ass muted colors and a Superman film that's trying so hard to get across a bunch of lazy metaphors a...
Read more

Bottom of the Pile: Apr. 8, 2015

Image
Astro City As usual, Kurt Busiek's Astro City is creatively solid--following a superhero who's made his home on an alien planet, and has to learn to accept when it's time to hand the job over to the next generation.  It's almost the opposite of what happened with Crackerjack and Quarrel.  That said: I've been a denizen of the interwebs for nearly two decades now, and this still might be a strong contender for grossest sexual advance ever. 
Read more

Battle Rap Wednesdays: Sno vs. Ty Law

Image
This battle is NOT the new JC vs. Chilla Jones.  Ty Law was consistent but not super impressive, and Sno's first is INSANE but his second is just okay and his third is forgettable.  Still better than most of those fucking NOME 3 battles. Favorite Line: "You 0 and 12 (owing 12) like that Swave Sevah and Head Ice bet." (Ty Law)  " 'Cause I don't care about X losing to Goodz, Calicoe getting killed, or that Lux ate Miles (8 mile)--if you find yourself in front of that white boy from Michigan?  It ain't Marshall, Law.  You gon' see so much firing going on, you gon need more than the fire marshall, Law!  My soldiers will run in your shit like the Martial Law!/They gon be like this white boy's flipping when he brought this tech in (Tekken) and bullets started kicking like Marshall Law!"  (Sno) That scheme (and the In Law/Out Law) shit was fucking bananas.  At this point, I really just want to know what they feed the boys from Pontiac to c...
Read more