Bottom of the Pile - June 11th, 2014

This is the part where I do four of these in roughly a week's time.  >_<

All-New Ultimates

It's literally rule one Bombshell/Lana: Don't get high off your own supply.  You've got a lot to learn if you're going to be a drug dealer.  Or, apparently, a superhero who specializes in stopping drug dealers.

Astro City

Meanwhile, over in Astro City, couples have decided to express their love in a far more overt fashion.  Also, it took me far too long to realize what they meant by "the dance" with this issue.  

Batman Eternal

Back in Gotham, Falcone makes a somewhat cogent point about the Batman in Batman Eternal.

Detective Comics

 A point that is echoed over in Detective Comics.  Does Batman really make a difference?  Given that merely to keep things fresh they have to introduce new villains, and that the nature of the business itself is such that they need to do things like "blow up Gotham" semi-regularly to keep selling comics, it's a question that DC wisely ignores most of the time.

Justice League United

DC goes from unanswerable questions in Batman to implausible/impossible solutions in Justice League.  Really, guys?  I don't think a Kangaroo can hit escape velocity, nor do I think G.A. has a spaceship arrow.  ...Although at one point he may have had a spaceship that was modeled after the likeness of an arrow.

New Avengers

Last week, Loki: Agent of Asgard had a reference to the popular TV Tropes website.  This week we appear to be referencing actual tropes.  What next?  A discussion on how they work between characters?  Breaking the fourth wall to do so?

Nightcrawler

The two things I learned from reading Nightcrawler this week: One, I never want to see Claremont attempt to be modern with his dialogue again.  #truedat.   Two, Claremont was totally serious in that one interview where he said Wolverine and Jean would have sex at the end of time and create a new big bang.   I was hoping that was, y'know, just one of those funny writer jokes.  Apparently the joke, she is on me.

She-Hulk

...Who, at this point in their career, is stupid enough to think they can take on Iron Fist, but they can't take on a Hulk?  If you don't have the brute strength or smarts to beat one, there's a good chance you don't have the technical know-how to beat the other.

But then, this is from the same guy who apparently keeps getting multiple concussions from his weapons but keeps using them.  

Superman/Wonder Woman

No no, that's the other place.

 New 52: Futures End

They keep telling me the "Bat-family" doesn't have any super-powers, and yet I keep seeing ridiculous things like a random palm movement that can literally send an athletic, adult male flying through the air.   Someone's lying.

Transformers: Robots in Disguise

Galvatron has gotten a little touchy over his place in Cybertronian history.  Also, he resembles Megatron more with each passing issue.

Uncanny X-Men Special

Maybe bringing back the mutants wasn't the best idea, considering you can't even tell the ones that WERE around apart to begin with.

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.