Bottom of the Pile - May 7th, 2014

Finally all caught up.  Let's go!

All-New X-Factor

Setting aside that this is an utterly idiotic adventure for the X-Factor team to be going on--what right do they have to decide how someone else raises their kids, and why don't they know that already--Gambit here has a point.  Well, at least...he had one till he cocked it all up in that last panel.

Amazing Spider-Man

Despite Marvel's well-documented "sliding timescale" (Iron Man was originally created in Korea, now it's Afghanistan), whenever they go back to Peter Parker's origin, it's always got a 1960's aesthetic.

 Aquaman and the Others

Frank Castle is somewhere with a hardon and he's not sure why. Where'd you find hardware that could blow a hole in giant-ass rock golems?

Batman Eternal

This doesn't even make sense.  No way Vicki survives long enough in Gotham to become a well-known reporter making mistakes this stupid.   "Hello kind gentleman who looks like he murdered someone...earlier this evening...would you happen to know about this really shady crime boss?  And would you be interested in telling me so I can print this incriminating evidence in a newspaper?"   Stop.  Just...stop.

Black Widow

 Black Widow is a very well-written book, aside from the obvious attempts to make Natasha more like herself from Avengers.   Natasha is a very competent spy who's taken on everything from other spies to people with powers and performed admirably.  But uhh...this will always be stupid.  You're going to tell me that someone who thought to armor up this much didn't invest in a cup?

Cyclops

The Badoon are the butt of so many jokes in Marvel space series, nobody (empires like the Shi'ar or independent entities like the Starjammers alike) takes them seriously, and yet we know for a fact that at some point in the future they pop up and take over the galaxy.   They're like the nerd in high school who gets made fun of, only who turns around to own their own Fortune 500 company.   Except, y'know...they enslave everyone to work at it.

Also, the fact that Marvel's publishing a comic book about my favorite X-Man is proof positive they're just plain "better" than DC for the time being.  Sad, but I'm going to enjoy this book while it lasts.

Earth 2

And now Earth 2 Supes' transformation into Superboy Prime is complete: completely unhinged and obsessed with a woman who doesn't love him because he's a complete monster.

Loki: Agent of Asgard

"For thy bewitching gaze doth compel noble Sigurd to get, thy digits!"   DEAD.   Also, nobody loves Thor's "oldie-worldie talk".  In fact, I thought Dan Jurgens got rid of that years ago with his run in the late 90's.

Magneto

 I know we try to pretend like mutants can be a metaphor for outsiders in general, but...primarily they're still just talking about race.   Also, why would someone still think segregation is a workable solution for any of society's ills?  It's worked out terrible in real life, and even worse in the MU.  (Hence the direct comparison to Genosha.)

Miles Morales - Ultimate Spider-Man

"I have decided there's no such thing as too hot for me."  That, is a perfect way to look at life.  Ganke grows on me the more I see him. 

New Warriors

Well, at least this is better than the old "let's pull out a bunch of folders while we stand around a giant round table" thing that was super-popular in the 2000's.  Sort of.

Original Sin

As cool as I think "Sam Jackson" Fury is for the MCU...original Fury's still cooler.  Been alive longer.  Done cooler shit.  Has way cooler stories.  But I think I have to trade in my black card after saying that, so if you'll excuse me...

 She-Hulk

 And finally, an answer to "Why hasn't Matt Murdock and Jen Walters met in court", question.  Although if I'm being honest, this is probably foreshadowing.   Or a red herring--can't say for sure until Soule's run is over, I guess.

And, all caught up.

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.