Bottom of the Pile - December 3rd, 2014

Angela - Asgard's Assassin

Not even one issue in and I'm already exhausted with this "nothing for nothing" and "angels balance their debts" stuff they've tied Angela into.  Of course, it doesn't help that in this issue she murders a young king for no other reason than his attempt to make a criminal pay for their crimes.   That's the problem with a society of people who believe material goods can be traded for everything--they believe it works with lives as well.    

At any rate, I'm sticking with this book because Kieron Gillen is one of my favorite new writers in comics right now, so let's hear it for blind stubbornness!

 Batman Eternal

Setting aside that placing the criminals of Gotham inside of Bruce's home is probably the most unconscionably stupid things I've ever heard (particularly considering the book's already canceled),  I can't help wondering how permanent broke Bruce Wayne is.  I mean, by the time we get to the main title's new arc, Endgame (set after Eternal), dude's got a giant suit of armor specifically designed to take on the Justice League.    You'd think he'd have at least a few resources tucked away for Batman stuff, though.

As a sidenote, I still haven't heard even one explanation as to why Bruce isn't legally responsible for the Batman, Incorporated stuff blowing up in his face. 

Earth 2

Sure.  We totally believe you, Babs.   Just like you totally escaped later.

Earth 2: World's End

 
 ....Wait. Nevermind.   So, a couple thoughts come to mind here, the first of which being that you guys apparently suck when you haven't had any Bat-related training.   The second being what is it with Barbara and getting shot?   This isn't even the same Earth anymore!

Green Arrow

You know, way back in the day, when Green Goblin revealed to Spider-Man he knew his secret identity, it was terrifying.  It represented a gross invasion of privacy--both the reader and Peter were aware that Norman could invade his REAL life any time he wanted and tear it all to pieces.  ...But when it happens twice inside of the same arc, you're basically just admitting you suck at keeping a secret.   Like, how would this even leak?  You're supposed to be the owner of a Fortune 500 company and you can't keep people from figuring out you're Green Arrow?  Great work, Oliver. 

 Guardians 3000

Okay, so the art leaves something to be desired, but at least there's one comic left where Peter Quill acts like Star Lord and not Chris Pratt.    You have to find the bright side in things.

Inhumans

This issue of Inhumans made me think: Axis is a really stupid idea.  How many times do the heroes and villains inexplicably change what side they're on before a regular human being just doesn't give a fuck and decides they want to be as far away from anyone in a costume as possible?   And honestly, whatever that number is?  They HAVE to be hitting it by now.

Other questions that beg to be asked: Who poured Medusa into that suit?  Does terrible fashion taste also come with being a supervillain?   Maybe you guys should consult Magneto for some tips--that dude always looked baller.

Legendary Star Lord

I'm going to guess Kitty Pryde hates space because on her first expedition she was impregnated with the eggs from an evil, insectoid alien race, whose eggs actually transform you into a member of their race, basically erasing everything you were before you became a part of them and leaving you with little else but a mindless, undying loyalty to the Queen who impregnated you.   So....yeah.   I think she's probably justified.

Anyway.  Star Lord takes advantage of a couple cool, but simple narrative tricks along with fancy space tech to create a sweet, romantic date issue between Peter Quill and Kitty Pryde.    Yeah, this guy isn't really anything like the one from the book that made the franchise popular enough to get a film in the first place, but he isn't really a bad person, so we're just going to roll with it. 

New 52: Futures End

 I'm pretty sure this breaks some sort of hero law, but if any hero deserves retirement, it's definitely Buddy Baker.  And if he wants to bring Green Arrow along, who's going to argue it?

 Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.