Bottom of the Pile - Oct. 29th, 2014

I'm more than a little late, considering this is going to be my shortest entry ever. I am thinking about doing something to make up for it, though.   Let's see.

All-New X-Men

Wait--mutants aren't the next step of evolution in the Ultimate Universe?  See, this is why everyone thinks the place is going to disappear everytime they do a crossover--they can't get anything right.

Batman Eternal

The fall of Arkham.  ....In a more creative world, this would be used as a way to kill off most of Batman's villains, forcing the writers to create new ones so we can stop having every other story be about The Joker, Two Face, Mr. Freeze, Penguin, etc., etc., etc.

...But you already know the rules.   There's already a comic being written that says something to the effect of "the major villains were missing from Arkham when it collapsed."  Hell, from what I understand this week's Batman Eternal has already confirmed that Bane is alive and well.  New 52: new #1s, same old heroes and villains.

Earth 2: World's End

Another bad-ass boast that doesn't end well for a Bat-character.  Easy there, Barbara.  You were already crippled in one timeline.   Also, why isn't Dick Grayson Robin on this Earth?  That's something he was known for on Earth 2 as well as Earth 1.  He even eventually got a neat, upgraded costume. 

Guardians of the Galaxy

This, is an example of the movies affecting the comic books.  (Which, to me, is far more important than the other way around.)  "You are the most noble and honorable person there is..."    I'm pretty sure she used to be The Most Dangerous Woman in the Galaxy, a bad-ass with a sword and a cool cape that was more of a mercenary than anything else.   She was faithful to the people she fought with and terrifying to fight against, but I'm pretty sure "honorable" and "noble" had nothing to do with her. 

Harley Quinn Annual

The most awesome origin ever will never be told (to us), because Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are big jerkfaces.   Villains ruin everything. 

Justice League Annual

I dunno, I think Animal Man has a good point.  But then I also would like to know why half of the team consists of blondes--couldn't this have been fixed in the reboot? 

New 52 - Futures End

See Terry, this is why nobody likes time travel.  It just sounds like you put a bunch of words onto a science fiction madlib and read off the resulting "script".   Points for not adding the word "fart" to that madlib, by the way.  That's always everyone's failing. 

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.