Bottom of the Pile - July 9th, 2014

Almost caught up.

 All-New X-Men

The X-Men's entire storyline lately has been a master course in "Why superheroes fucking hate time travel".

Amazing X-Men

....So.  Literally only in Canada, if you eat human flesh--even by accident--you turn into a giant monster with a Hulk-like strength, a taste for said human flesh, and the ability to turn people into monsters much like you by scratching or biting them.   I'm marking this down as "crazy comic book shit" and moving on.

Avengers

"You done fucked it up!", yells a voice from the future.   "We don't care!" yell the Avengers.   Either way, in ten months...Time Runs Out. 

Batman Eternal

The new Commissioner has quite the interesting position on crime in Gotham, and I'm not sure I disagree with him.   Bottom line, Batman (as his stories are currently being written) is not getting the job done.  Gotham's worse, not better.   Not that it matters of course, Gordon will be back by the end of this anyway.

Daredevil

Marvel continues their need to make sure that despite the fact that they have scientists capable of shrinking to microscopic height, despite that they have magicians that are capable of cancelling evolution itself, despite the existence of numerous star-faring races...cancer is still impossible to cure, fix, or even momentarily retard.  The Captain Marvel rule holds true, as the Big Two refuse to allow superheroes who suffer from things that actually affect people in real life to get any form of "easy fix" or magic cure.

As someone who lost his grandfather two years ago, and a cousin literally this past Sunday, to cancer?  Fuck that.  It's not realistic--in real life you'd cure your loved ones even if you couldn't actually cure anyone else.  I know I would have.

Detective Comics

Slugging it out with Harvey fucking Dent, the Columbo of Gotham City?  Is that what's hot in the streets, Batman? 

Justice League United

And just like that, I'm buying Green Arrow and Animal Man as the new Blue Beetle and Booster Gold.   Justice League United is rapidly growing on me--the main team are the professionals in the vein of Grant Morrison's "heroic gods", while this team has the personality of Giffen's late 80's/early 90's league.  

Original Sin

So Nick Fury is basically The Doctor, if The Doctor didn't have a problem killing things.  He visits far off places and alien civilizations, and keeps things from threatening the Earth.   I...sure, why not.

Original Sin: Thor and Loki

If I had to guess, I'd say it's "the horror Thor's reckless actions brought" that causes him to lose his hammer.  Original Sin: Thor and Loki is an excellent start to what's basically a forced retcon to make Original Sin "work", with the writers of God of Thunder and Loki: Agent of Asgard working together to push the stories forward of both the character they're working on.  In the future, hopefully all "event" spin-off mini-series are like that.

....Who am I kidding?

Superman/Wonder Woman

This has nothing to do with the book.  I just wanted to say that I'd kill for Steel to have a cool looking costume for once in his life, instead of actually looking like something Shaquille O'Neill put together in his junkyard. 

New 52 - Futures End

"I hope your friends know what to do with your remains"??  I'd been wondering who was behind the mask of that Superman outfit--and now I concretely know it's not Superman.  And suddenly I'm wondering what happened to Lex Luthor and that power suit that he's had five years to refine...

Transformers - More than Meets the Eye

 

It's impossible to think about but, a Transformers book remains one the smartest comic books on the stands.  In this issue alone, they discuss quantum physics, the nature of creation for a race of sentient robotic beings, the existence of religion in long-lived races, and a few other topics that prove the writer probably spent far more time thinking about the nature of Cybertronians than the writers of the films, who basically took a "copy-paste human behavior" attitude and called it a day.

Two down, one to go.  Be up on Saturday.

Author's Note: Bottom of the Pile is a weekly column (or at least, my attempt at said) in which I cover the comics that found their way to the bottom of my pile, thus being the best as I've always been a proponent of "saving the best for last".   Since bog standard reviews can be found literally anywhere, coverage can range from mini-reviews to funny comments to commentary on a creator's run or comics as a whole, depending on a wide range of factors including the comic itself, the amount of time I have, and my general mood.